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A bar mitzvah () or bat mitzvah () is a coming of age ritual in Judaism. According to Halakha, before children reach a certain age, the parents are responsible for their child's actions. Once Jewish children reach that age, they are said to "become" b'nai mitzvah, at which point they begin to be held accountable for their own actions. Traditionally, the father of a bar or bat mitzvah offers thanks to God that he is no longer punished for his child's sins.
In Orthodox Judaism communities, boys become bar mitzvah at 13 and girls become bat mitzvah at 12. In most Reform Judaism, Reconstructionist, and Conservative communities, the milestone is 13 regardless of gender. After this point, children are also held responsible for knowing Jewish law, Jewish tradition, and Jewish ethics, and are able to participate in all areas of Jewish community life to the same extent as adults. In some Jewish communities, men's and women's roles differ in certain respects. For example, in Orthodox Judaism, once a boy turns 13, it is permitted to count him for the purpose of determining whether there is a Minyan, and he may lead prayer and other religious services in the family and the community.Genesis Rabbah 63:10 (commenting upon Genesis 25:27) (in Hebrew)
Bar mitzvah is mentioned in the MishnahPirkei Avot, and the Talmud. Some classic sources identify the age at which children must begin to participate in the ritual at the age of 13 for boys and 12 for girls. The age of b'nai mitzvah roughly coincides with the onset of puberty.Niddah 45b The bar/ bat mitzvah ceremony is usually held on the first Shabbat after the birthday on which the child reaches the eligible age.
Some late sources, and some medieval sources refer to a synagogue ceremony performed upon the boy's reaching age thirteen:
The age of thirteen is mentioned in the Mishnah as the time one is obligated to observe the Torah's commandments: "At five years old one should study the Scriptures, at ten years for the Mishnah, at 13 for the commandments..."Pirkei Avot 5:21Olitsky, Kerry M. An Encyclopedia of American Synagogue Ritual, Greenwood Press, 2000. p. 7.
Elsewhere,Niddah 5:6 the Mishnah lists the ages (13 for boys and 12 for girls) at which a vow is considered automatically valid; the Talmud explains this as a result of the 13-year-old being a "man", as required in . Niddah 46a (For one year before this age, the vows are conditionally valid, depending on whether the boy or girl has signs of physical maturity.)
Other sources also list thirteen as the age of majority with respect to following the commandments of the Torah, including:
According to Rabbi Mark Washofsky, "The Reform Movement in North America has struggled over the bar/bat mitzvah. At one time, this ceremony was on the verge of extinction in Reform congregations. Most of them preferred to replace bar/bat mitzvah with confirmation, which they considered a more enlightened and appropriate ceremony for modern Jews. Yet the enduring popularity of bar/bat mitzvah prevailed and today, in our communities, bar/bat mitzvah is 'virtually universally observed' by Reform Jews."
In 2012, concern about the high post-bar/bat mitzvah drop-out rate led the Union for Reform Judaism to launch the B'nai Mitzvah Revolution, an effort to shift Reform congregations away from "the long-held assumption that religious school is about preparing kids for their bar/bat mitzvah" and focus instead on teaching them how to become committed and involved members of the Jewish community. Reform Judaism magazine, Winter 2012.
On the Sabbath, there are seven main sections, plus an eighth, known as maftir, which is also connected to the reading of that day's Haftarah section. It is most common to give the child the maftir reading.
In most synagogues, a designated officiant, the Baal korei, reads all of the Torah portions, and the people receiving each aliyah only say the blessings before and after their portion is read. A bar mitzvah boy may learn to act as the ba'al korei, either for the entire service, for just his aliyah, or any range in-between. He may also be ba'al korei for the haftorah portion if he receives the maftir, or may only be ba'al korei for the haftorah, without reading from the Torah at all. Any of these undertakings involves a steep learning curve and much practice, possibly taking a year of study, and is an impressive accomplishment.
Girls may have an aliyah in Reform, Reconstructionist, and Conservative Jewish synagogues. In Orthodox synagogues, aliyot were and typically still are restricted to boys, with a girl potentially giving a d'var Torah at the end of the service. Some Modern Orthodox girls give aliyot at women's services, with fewer than ten men (so as not to constitute a minyan).
In Orthodox circles, the occasion is sometimes celebrated during a weekday service that includes reading from the Torah, such as a Monday or Thursday morning service.
Some communities or families may delay the celebration for reasons such as availability of a Shabbat during which no other celebration has been scheduled, or to allow family members to travel to the event. However, this does not delay the onset of rights and responsibilities of being a Jewish adult which comes about strictly by virtue of age.
Bar mitzvah festivities typically include a joyous seudat mitzvah, a celebratory meal with family, friends, and members of the community, the bar mitzvah boy delivering on this occasion a learned discourse or oration at the table before the invited guests, who offer him presents, while the rabbi or teacher gives him his blessing, accompanying it at times with an address. Some Jews celebrate in other ways such as taking the bat or bar mitzvah on a special trip or organizing some special event in the celebrant's honour. In many communities, the celebrant is given a certificate.
In some times and places, local Jewish leaders have officially limited the size and elaborateness of mitzvahs. For example, only ten men were permitted to attend the party in 1730 in Berlin, and music was banned at these parties in 1767 in Prague. These rules were usually meant to avoid offending non-Jewish neighbours, and to maintain the rule that it be a smaller celebration than a wedding.
Bar and bat mitzvah parties among wealthy Jewish families in North America are often lavish affairs held at hotels and country clubs with hundreds of guests. The trend has been mocked, most notably in the movie Keeping Up with the Steins. These lavish parties were also heavily featured in the film You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. In the 1950s, Rabbi Harold Saperstein of New York described them as too often being "more bar than mitzvah". Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says that over-the-top bar mitzvah parties were already common when he was growing up in Miami in the 1970s.
In 1979, the Responsa Committee of the Central Conference of American Rabbis addressed the Reform attitude toward bat/bar mitzvah: "Every effort should be exerted to maintain the family festivities in the religious mood at the bar/bat mitzvah. Some of the efforts of early Reform in favor of confirmation and against bar mitzvah were prompted by the extravagant celebration of bar mitzvah, which had removed its primary religious significance. We vigorously oppose such excesses, as they destroy the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah."
In May 1992, the board of trustees of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations (now the Union for Reform Judaism), the synagogue arm of the Reform Movement, unanimously passed a resolution decrying "excesses of wasteful consumption...glitzy theme events, sophisticated entertainment...and expensive party favors", calling instead for "family cohesion, authentic friendship, acts of tzedakah (righteous giving), and parties suitable for children."
The cost of the party depends upon what the family is willing and able to spend. Some families spend tens, or even hundreds, of thousands of dollars on the party. Generally speaking, these celebrations are less costly and elaborate than a wedding in that family. In addition to food and drink for the guests, the money at an elaborate party is mostly spent on renting and decorating a venue and hiring staff, from the catering team to emcees, Disc jockey, entertainers, and dancers (also called "motivators") to encourage the guests to dance or play games.
The majority of Orthodox Judaism and some Conservative Jews reject the idea that a woman can publicly read from the Torah or lead prayer services whenever there is a minyan (quorum of 10 males) available to do so. However, the public celebration of a girl becoming bat mitzvah in other ways has made strong inroads into Modern Orthodox Judaism and also into some elements of Haredi Judaism. In these congregations, women do not read from the Torah or lead prayer services, but they occasionally lecture on a Jewish topic to mark their coming of age, learn a book of Tanakh, recite verses from the Book of Esther or the Book of Psalms, or say prayers from the siddur. In some Modern Orthodox circles, bat mitzvah girls will read from the Torah and lead prayer services in a women's tefillah. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a prominent Orthodox posek, described the bat mitzvah celebration as "meaningless", and of no greater halakhic significance than a birthday party. However, he reluctantly permitted it in homes, but not synagogues, (2025). 9780814344828, Wayne State University Press. ISBN 9780814344828 as the latter would be construed as imitating Reform and Conservative customs; in any case, they do not have the status of seudat mitzvah.Iggros Moshe OC 1:104 and OC 2:97 Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef holds that it is a seudat mitzvah.Yabia Omer 2:29
There were occasional attempts to recognize a girl's coming of age in eastern Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries, the former in Warsaw (1843) and the latter in Lemberg (1902). The occasion was marked by a party without any ritual in the synagogue.Marcus, Ivan G. (2004). The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage from Biblical to Modern Times. Seattle and London: University of Washington Press. , p. 105.
There are documents that record an Italian rite for becoming bat mitzvah, known as an "entrance into the minyan" ceremony, in which boys of thirteen and girls of twelve recited a blessing, since the mid-19th century.Marcus, p. 106. There were also some bat mitzvah rituals held in the 19th century in Iraq. However, it was the American rabbi Mordecai Kaplan held the first public celebration of a bat mitzvah as we understand it in modern times for his daughter on March 18, 1922, at the Society for the Advancement of Judaism, his synagogue in New York City.Waskow, Arthur Ocean and Phyllis Ocean Berman. Excerpt from A Time for Every Purpose Under Heaven Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC at Kaplan was unaware of the earlier Italian precedent and learned of them several months later, while on holiday in Italy.Marcus, pg 112. Judith Kaplan recited the preliminary blessing, read a portion of that week's Torah portion in Hebrew and English, and then intoned the closing blessing. Mordecai Kaplan, an Orthodox rabbi who joined Conservative Judaism and then became the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, influenced Jews from all branches of non-Orthodox Judaism, through his position at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America. At the time, most Orthodox rabbis strongly rejected the idea of a bat mitzvah ceremony. (2025). 9780814344828, Wayne State University Press. ISBN 9780814344828 (2025). 9780827612891, University of Nebraska Press. ISBN 9780827612891
As the ceremony became accepted for females as well as males, many women chose to celebrate the ceremony even though they were much older, as a way of formalizing and celebrating their place in the adult Jewish community.
The kibbutz movement in Israel also encouraged the celebration of the bar mitzvah. All those coming of age in the community for that year would take on a project and research in a topic of Jewish or Zionist interest. Today many kibbutz children are opting for a more traditional bar mitzvah celebration.
Among some Jews, a man who has reached the age of 83 will celebrate a second bar mitzvah, under the logic that in the Hebrew Bible it says that a normal lifespan is 70 years, so that an 83-year-old can be considered 13 in a second lifetime. This ritual is becoming more common as people live longer, healthier lives.
A bark mitzvah is a pseudo-traditional observance and celebration of a dog's coming of age,Shari Cohen and Marcelo Gindlin. Alfie's Bark Mitzvah. Chandler, Arizona: Five Star Publications, 2007. Book with audio CD. . as in the Jewish traditional bar and bat mitzvahs. The term has been in use since at least 1958, when Beverly Hills couple Janet and Sonny Salter held a bark mitzvah for their 13 year old dog, Windy. Bark mitzvahs are sometimes held as an adjunct to the festival of Purim.
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